cast of characters

Chaton: sleek, sexy, & delicately scented flower of the Arch & Anth department

Cookie: Picard's wife & star of the Cambridge social scene -- sweet with a brittle bite

Crooner: philosopher ex-boyfriend & jazz singer with a voice like rum on ice

Dan-O: Englishman afield in the East. Special skill: MCing in three Asian languages

Fey: possible lovechild of Bill Gates and Hello Kitty. The cutest computer geek in Cambridge -- with sharp claws

Hattermad aka Grouchy Marxist: genderqueer heterosexual male & recent escapee from The Purple College. Formerly Cambridge's only known possessor of the goyfro

Jimmy Ketchup: worshipper of His Bobness & classmate from primary school

Jimmy Vegan: nomad, painter, ukelelist, animal rights activist & father of breakdancing cartoon hero Gnome Chomsky

Johnny Dangerous: from LA by way of Taiwan. The rock to Mr Smith's scissors and my paper

Johnnie Joyce: double bass player on a world tour of jazz... by bike

Johnny Yesterday: Cambridge ex who taught me the joys of singing along to LL Cool J

M: anthropologist, healer & poet, wise in the ways of the middle kingdom (Cambridge or China, take your pick)

Mr Smith: Ms Wolfe's boyfriend. We met in Chinese 201E, realized we were the two biggest nerds in the class and have been friends ever since

Mr Spoon: orientalizing, fantasizing, baudelarian, Cantabridgean

Ms Wolfe: Mr Smith's girlfriend. Making a difference in the World... of Warcraft

The Norwegian: engaged in a personal experiment to see how long the student life can be extended from Cambridge to Beijing

Picard (as in "Captain"): Cookie's husband. Broad of back & firm of jaw, former comrade from the Cambridge powerlifting club

Proxodimec: global hobo of the Russian steppes & photographic chronicler from Belize to Beijing

"Steely" Dan: American law student & briefly partner-in-crime for adventures in the China hole

Triin: Estonian classical guitarist turned international jazz outlaw for the Cyclowns & Thousands of Dead Frogs

Violet: English student & future Zadie Smith, but blonde. Joining our protagonist in polyamorous adventures

Xavier: polyamorous kinkster; our eyes met across a crowded dungeon